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Xena
Don't agree with the choices I've made?
This choice was made alone, I needed guidance instead of judgment, but no one was there.......so understand my choice
The lifestyle of my deceased parent, became my unspoken and unseen destiny. After all of the years of finding it disgusting, I found myself fighting urges.
BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME.
It was just a matter of time that all the lies and denial began to unravel. My choices had been stolen from me. As a stipulation of my adoption, I was given a new name and environmental identity.
Xena
I feel pretty..... but I have a penis.
I am an only child, raised by a single parent, who just prior to my 10th birthday died of Aids, before I even knew what it was.
I learned the extremity of love, and the heartbreak that deception brings, at a very young age. I was not that person that I had been lead to believe I was. Everyone around me knew these secrets, but had been sworn to silence, allowing me to live a lie.
Live the Truth
......My thoughts regarding my DNA parents?
The word
MOMMY and DADDY
are no longer a part of my vocabulary.
one day I will blame them for nothing and forgive them for everything.
But until that time....My brand name clothing, designer handbags and red bottom shoes build a fence around me.
Unknown to my father
March Story: Behind The Lipstick
Why can't I shave my face and my legs?
I feel trapped.... actually, I am trapped within myself.
After years of searching and dragging around the word why. I realized that my journey, to unknown destinations was a battle won at too greater cost.
So I have created a new image. This image includes a new name, body and friends, surrounded by a a new attitude that spells ACCEPTANCE.
Eventually I knew what i had to do, even if it meant giving up everything I had grown to love. I needed to find and
Live The Truth.
I was convinced it was the ineludible. Therefore as a sign of my acceptance, I decided it was easier, to be who I was groomed to be as a child, opposed to whom I was supposed to be.
Abandon by my mother
The looks, that eventually turn to stares. The whispers, that aren't actually silent, all transform into hurt.